Animals Farming Innovation , Seeing Eye Cows , That's it ... just watch your step!
Health Motivation , exercise , C'mon everybody - up and out and pull ...
advertising leisure , , Wilderness Camping Free Parking Low Rates Open 24 Hours NO CAPTION
Health , hypochondriac , Whatever you do, don't ask him how he is today.
Change Ethics Resources , Human ginger bread man , I know he's a cookie - but we're an equal opportunity employer.
Change Motivation Restaurants , Hollywood Diner , Okay, now explain to me again what my motivation is for this scene?
Change Lawyers Unemployment , wrecking ball , I was right - they can't legally fire me!
Change Managers , Management Committee , Nonsense - it only seems like eternity.
Change Courtesy Managers , cubicle , Keep Your Shoes On! The Management NO CAPTION
Change Managers , Acting Manager Creativity , I'm afraid, Hedgewood, you haven't really grasped the concept here.
Absenteeism Change Health , ambulance , Remember, you need a note from the doctor.
Change Travel , , Geez, Harry, just once I'd like to go some- where without you looking like a tourist.
Animals Change Evolution , cows , Can't you see we've been domesticated?
Change Innovation Marriage , bath , I'll bet you thought I was too cheap to buy a Jacuzzi.
Change Psychiatry , cameras , I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone wasn't out to get me.
Change Recognition , Employee The Month Bongo , I told you this chimp was trouble.
Change Health Miscellaneous Safety , office romance , I still don't see how this was a work-related accident.
Change Managers , Professionalism , Boss du Jour Steaming Mad With Mild Tantrums NO CAPTION
Animals Change Unions , Skweel Sausages , We're capitalist pigs, son - there's no reason to be ashamed of it.
Change Marketing Service , dry cleaner , Invisible Mending NO CAPTION
Change Ethics , Power Suit , Now remember, when he calls you 'dear' ... take him out.
Animals Change Technology , computer , Don't be silly, it's not a real human.
Change Technology , Computer , Computer De-Programmng NO CAPTION
Bureaucracy Change , Bureaucrats Anonymous , Hi. My name is Dave, and I'm member #378-FC/29Y87.
Change Effectiveness Technology , barbeque , A few more copies and I'll be done.
Change Salary Unemployment , Performance Review , Stop worrying about doing a good job - the big money is in severance pay!
Bureaucracy Change Leadership , Executive Committee , All those in favor of making a decision ...
Change Education Ethics , Chapel , It's not a bribe - but let's just say there's plenty more where that came from.
Change Innovation Sales , Rent This Space , It costs a little more, but it'll pay for itself in six months!
Animals Change Resources Recruitment , Human actor , I need a new agent.
Service Quality , cigar , The desk clerk said you wanted a smoking room.
Teamwork Negotiations , cow , I vote we draw straws.
advertising marketing , Eat , You see, it's marketing! This is why they're at the top of the food chain!
Productivity , , All those in favor of shorter meetings ...
Change Leadership Motivation , oars , One more time - row, row, row your boat ...
Change Maintenance , car , It just has to get me through the winter.
Change Competency Productivity , Mattress Testing Professionalism , You were caught sleeping on the job again, Dexter.
Change Restaurants Service , soup , Would you like another finger bowl?
Awareness Change , castaway , You know, at first I didn't really believe we had an office in the Pacific Rim.
Change Crime Ethics , , And how do I know it isn't stolen?
Change Competency Responsibility , sleep , I suggested he pursue his dream.
Change Marketing Service , Minute Laundry , Geez, I can't believe we fell for this again.
Banks Change , apartment , The bank repossessed your condo.
Change , Economic Forecast Economy , We'll see lower interest rates overnight, and a higher dollar by the weekend.
Change Effectiveness , Drag Racing , I should have worn flats.
Change Philosophy , Greed Good , Don't expect warm and fuzzy platitudes around here, Fishbeck.
Change Service , Customer Relations , It's okay to be sympathetic, but don't actually help anyone.
Bureaucracy Change Productivity , paperwork , It's a 30,000-page study that proves we don't need to change the way we work.
Change Planning , Make More Money , Frankly, Bob, we were expecting a more detailed sales plan.
Change Innovation Religion Technology , caligraphy , He's our new high-speed copier.
Change Ethics Resources , Human office romance , I'm confused - if we date, is that harassment or overtime?
Accounting Change Education Accounting , Creativity School Creative , I like your use of dividends, and especially this payroll motif!
Change , Discipline , I didn't think they could screw you this way.
Animals Awareness Change Managers , ants , Listen, kid, I'm sure management would tell us if there was a problem.
Change Sales Sales Training Training , Professionalism , It's important to be sincere, whether you mean it or not.
Change Negotiations , chicken , It's a petition of some sort, but I can't make out this chicken scrawl.
Change Technology , Virtual Reality , It's for the home business market. It gives the illusion of working in a crowded noisy office!
Change Crime , Creativity Professionalism break and enter , I still don't see how dressing up makes it a white-collar crime.
Teamwork , heads , Let's put our heads together and come up with something big.
Effectiveness Health Leadership , exercise , By delegating my fitness program, I can do 20 more miles a day!
Awareness Travel Psychiatry , car , Personality Type A Type B NO CAPTION
Health , Creativity Fitness Club , Oh, great! Now what do we do?
Change Communications Competency , Apple Pastry Icing Sugar , I know it's from the cafeteria, but this isn't the turnover we wanted you to study.
Absenteeism Change Doctors Health , doctor , Just say I need plenty of rest and sunshine.
Change Maintenance Reliability , auto mechanic , It looks like a problem with your undercarriage.
Animals Change Unemployment , Benefits Severance Pay , They're right, Ralph - we have to give them two weeks' notice.
Change Competency , Give Morons , Remember, it's a trick question if they ask what kind of idiot are you.
Change Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel , I don't know what to make of this, Tom - it's a recommendation from our competitor.
Change Motivation , Prozac Take One Daily , It's supposed to improve morale.
Animals Change Stress , rats , I'm telling you, honey - it's a human race out there!
Change Ethics Resources Recruitment , Gay Cowboys For Christ Human , Yes, we do have a minority hiring policy ... why do you ask?
Change Leadership Responsibility Unemployment , , It's not easy ordering lay-offs ... but I guess that's why they pay me $8.3 million a year.
Accounting Change , Tales Accountant , And this one is real scary ... he accidentally files a T-81 without completing Section 3.
Change Ethics , Benefits office theft retirement loyalty , After 25 years of loyal service, all I have is a crummy gold watch and $3 million in office supplies.
Change Retail Sales , blacksmith , For a few dollars more, I can put you in an air-cushioned Nike.
Animals Change Technology Television Unions , antenna , Say 'No' To Cable NO CAPTION
Change Productivity , coffee , Management says our coffee breaks are too long.
Change Entertainment Lawyers , Haunted House , If this is a fake, I'm gonna sue.
Change Training Resources Training , Employee Human , First, we teach them the basics ...
Change , Discipline doll , You know the rules, Bizwell - no personal items on the desk!
Change Doctors Psychiatry , analysis , The problem is, Doc, nobody ever listens to me!
Change Maintenance Service , Bill , We charge by the snowflake.
Change Miscellaneous animals , , OK, on the count of three, everyone yell 'boo!' ...
Advertising Change Technology , , But your ad says pilots train on a computer flight simulator.
Change Salary construction , Creativity , I need the overtime.
Change Doctors Health , doctor , It looks like chicken pox.
Insurance Change Insurance Leisure Sports , Bisswell golf , I know how you feel, sir, but we can't pay disability benefits for a 25 handicap.
Change Crime , Police Records , I see this isn't the first time you've been charged with contempt.
Resources Recruitment , Human camera , We put all new employees on probation.
Absenteeism Ethics Travel , beach , That's right, sir - my temperature is 103 degrees.
Unions Negotiations , million Unfair , They don't realize I have a mortgage too.
Travel , Earth Estates From 000 Real Estate , There's no way I'm gonna make this drive every day.
Courtesy Resources Miscellaneous , Human administration , Secret, Top Secret, Gossip NO CAPTION
Sales , mirror , Hey, it's true - you sales guys don't have a reflection.
Restaurants , buffet , All You Can Eat Rice Cakes NO CAPTION
Unemployment , Employment Ads Professionalism , You know, I really respect the way you spoke up when they asked for your opinion.
Initiative , Creativity , Rumor has it, Filman, you've taken a second job.
Leadership , Yes , That's what we like about you, sir - there are no gray areas.
Awareness Miscellaneous , Men Who Wear Diapers , We're out of the closet and ready to change the world!
Recognition , Worker , You can call me Bob.
construction , Discipline , Sure, we have an incentive plan - if you screw up, you're fired!
Teamwork Unions , Union , I think these teamwork seminars are finally working!
, Discipline skyscraper , Corporate Siberia.
Awareness Crime , , Keep a sharp eye - somebody here is stealing office supplies.
Resources Recruitment , Windbreakers Human Manufacturing , We make jackets. What did you think we do?
Animals Marriage , aquarium , I love you, but you never take me anywhere.
Entertainment , band , I hate these elevator music gigs.
Advertising Ethics Marketing , Sale , Stop Global Warming Buy Cool-Glow Air Conditioners NO CAPTION
Health Initiative Innovation , , Not too hard this time - the last idea gave me a concussion.
Resources Recruitment , Human interrogation , OK, let's go over your resumŽ one last time.
Health Politics Unions , Nuke the Bomb , These marches always attract fringe groups.
Effectiveness Managers , , The three levels of management.
Effectiveness Managers , ball and chain , My new boss is a control freak.
Lawyers Marriage , annulment , The marriage is invalid because I must have been insane when I married him.
Psychiatry , children , What college? I'm saving for therapy.
Resources Recruitment , Government Human Now Hiring Village Idiot , Do you have any experience working in the public sector?
Resources Quality Recruitment , Human Personnel , Of course I'm qualified ... I've had hundreds of jobs like this!
Communications , mail chute , They wanted to improve top-down communication.
Recognition , Benefits promotion , It comes with the promotion, Ralph - the car, secretary and new friends.
Unions Crime , astronauts , Hey! Isn't that Jimmy Hoffa?
Marriage Psychiatry , court , He wasn't like this when I married him!
Bureaucracy Productivity , airplane crash , Now that we're all here, we can continue with our meeting.
Courtesy , sandwich , It's just like you to bring only one napkin!
Awareness Doctors Health , Memorial Hospital , There's still no conclusive evidence that it's a health risk.
Education Science , classroom , After teaching first-year Physics for 25 years, Professor Morgan takes a temporary leave from his faculty.
Planning Productivity , Feeding Frenzy , Geez, I don't know how we ever did it without a strategic plan?
Travel , aliens , It's the sixth planet past the sun ... you can't miss it.
Absenteeism Religion , Holidays galley , It must be a Jewish holiday.
Resources Recruitment , Creativity Human exray , Thank you for your resumŽ and ... oh, I see you attached your sick mother's X-rays.
Unemployment , dismisal , That's odd ... I don't remember requesting a leave without pay.
Animals Change Evolution , City Zoo , We've been reorganized ... so you guys will have to double as mountain gorillas starting Monday.
Leadership Motivation Responsibility , dishes , Explain again the part about how you've empowered me to assume greater decision-making authority.
Health Miscellaneous , bees , You may get a buzz from these artificial flowers, but the hangover is murder.
Animals Ethics Science , Genetic Research , It will be man's best friend and can produce eight quarts of milk a day.
Health Psychiatry , Prozac , All I can see now are donuts without holes!
Education , Chicken Farm Call , Great, Dad, now the teacher thinks you need special attention.
Absenteeism Health , bed , Geez, I hate wasting sick leave being sick.
Lawyers Responsibility , desert island , Just my luck ... jury duty.
Doctors Health , doctor , Well, your X-rays confirm it - there's a thin man inside of you trying to get out.
Quality , Dead Mice Manufacturing , I suppose you thought they got in there by accident.
Health Productivity , armchair , It just happens to be ergonomically correct.
Courtesy Negotiations Unions , More , It can't hurt.
Animals Innovation , blind dog , In his later years, Rex was grateful for his seeing-eye duck.
Managers , , I'm really touched, Grimsby, that you keep my picture right here next to your mother-in-law.
Doctors Health Technology Television , couch potato , The doctor says I need exercise, so I got the heaviest remote they had.
Resources Unemployment , Human broom closet , I'm keeping a low profile until they finish trimming the budget.
Responsibility Sales Travel , vacation , Funny how all your sales contacts are in Bermuda.
Health Lawyers Television , Ace Legal Services , Oprah says we should be having safer sex.
Bureaucracy Religion Service , Librarian , I can't help you unless The Bible has an ISBN number, or The Almighty has a last name.
Effectiveness Unemployment , , Actually, you were fired three months ago, but I couldn't find your office.
Service , Galaxy Express Deliveries , Your neighbor isn't home, and I wonder if I can leave this for him.
Animals Competency Pets , dogs , I've seen it happen before: One bad decision, and the company goes to the dogs.
Managers Recognition , , Personally, I like the feedback.
Safety Innovation , Scenic Sewer Tours , Remember to stay together, and please don't touch the exhibits.
, ,
Communications Technology , computer , The new age of communication.
Communications Technology , Makeup , I can't talk now - I'm preparing for my one o'clock teleconference.
Effectiveness , Security Access security , I don't get it - we keep changing the password and we still have a leak!
Resources Recognition Recruitment , Human Personnel , Of course, you realize there's no room here for advancement.
Doctors Health , , Well, Mr. Viner. Just two more stamps and you get a new car.
Health , starch , It says here, people with back trouble may have too much starch in their diet.
, Professionalism pants , Say, Babstock, I hear you're on half-days now.
Safety , cigarettes , Listen, Bob, we know you've been hiding cigarettes in your desk, so don't give me this spontaneous combustion crap!
Unemployment , ocean , Stick around ... I hear there are gonna be layoffs.
Retail Sales , Sale , Is this coffee table regular or decaffeinated?
Banks Service , , Last ATM for 10,000 Miles NO CAPTION
Health Productivity Technology , computer game , Call the Betty Ford Clinic and see if they'll take computer game addicts.
Doctors Health Technology , doctor , Looks like one of those telephone sex viruses, all right.
Animals Health , farm , It's not supposed to be low in fat and high in fiber.
Competency Service , Information , If I really knew anything, I wouldn't be working here.
Courtesy Effectiveness , alarm clocks , The neighbors want to know what time they're getting up tomorrow.
Service , , Wrong department ... you want Customer Relations!
Productivity , dead , It's worse than we thought - everyone's been covering for him.
Animals Competency , bar , I hope you're not one of those urban cowboys.
Bureaucracy Effectiveness , birds , It's just one pointless meeting after another.
Unions , Judge Professionalism , The union is right ... wedgies are an unfair labor practice.
Animals Persistence Recognition , Brown Cow Dairy , He must have worked his way up through the ranks.
Animals Education Farming , books , She's trying to improve her grade.
Health , Benefits Holidays calendar , Say, I have enough sick leave for a week in the Bahamas!
Effectiveness , Power Breakfast Special Professionalism , He's more of a let's-do-lunch person.
Resources , Holidays Human Secretarial Pool , Geez, things really slow down around here in the summer.
Maintenance Service Effectiveness , Escalator Repair , Don't panic. I'll have you down in no time!
Marketing Restaurants , MacHaggis , In the early years ... before Ronald knew what the public wanted.
Television Technology Entertainment , desert island , So, what d'ya want to do tonight?
Animals Travel , , When pigs fly.
Entertainment Managers Recognition , microphone , Management says they're gonna promote our top performers.
Managers Persistence , Management Grooming , No matter what people say, I've earned these pinstripes.
Technology , computer , It's a ransom note, all right ... the computer wants 64 megabytes of RAM deposited in a bank before noon.
Marriage , bed , How long d'ya intend on holding this grudge?
, Holidays car , I see more of these loony drivers every holiday weekend.
Competency Marriage Travel , directions , Don't you have a better map?
Accounting Responsibility Safety , Bill Due Professionalism , Accounting wants to know why we had to replace the glass on the photocopier.
Recognition , Professionalism Reception , This is one heck of a receptionist.
Construction Planning , Creativity architect , What plans? That was just a doodle!
Death Miscellaneous , Gate , Geez, this line-up could go on forever.
Animals Lawyers Pets , court , The pooch is right ... you abandoned him, so he gets the house.
Planning Travel , airplane , This really screws up our itinerary.
Innovation Technology , computers , That's right, sir, we use our computers for just about everything.
Productivity Technology , automobile , And with a mobile office, we've managed to streamline our operation.
Effectiveness Technology , Micro Computers , I still can't see the keyboard.
, Discipline demotion , I hear you were demoted.
Death Technology Television , Crawford , He insisted we bury him with the remote control.
Safety Travel , Security Baggage Check security , Do you have any idea how long it took me to pack that suitcase?!
Crime , convicts prison , Must be one of those white-collar crime gangs.
Innovation Restaurants , Cafe , I hate nouvelle cuisine.
Marketing Sales , Economy Trampoline , As you can see, it's an extremely volatile market.
Banks , , It just keeps laughing.
Animals Science , Give , I told you he was smart.
Communications , Daily News Economy , I think it says something about the cost of newsprint.
Reliability Technology Training , MultiMedia Trade Show , Due to technical difficulties, Sammy the puppet will tell you all about computer- assisted learning.
Communications Technology , accident , Damn, I just get their voice mail.
Courtesy Communications , You Are Here Now Get Out , You Are Here Now Get Out! NO CAPTION
Animals Awareness Stress , Bar , Say, you're not one of those wolves in sheep's clothing, are you?!
Marriage Communications Awareness , Happy 40th Birthday Sue , Just when I thought I knew nothing about women, someone comes along and makes me think I should write a book.
Innovation Safety , arrow , Target practice, huh?
Technology , photocopier , Finally, a photocopier for Post-It Notes.
, ABC Trust Mortgages Low Rates Loans Finance Real Estate , Would you like it frozen or as a float?
Competency Safety , Bee Farm , How many times do I have to tell you not to eat jelly sandwiches on the job.
Safety , accident , So, what you're saying is, you stapled your hand to the safety report.
Training , chair , It comes with a manual, but we advise customers to take the training course.
Psychiatry , Schlock , Don't worry, I don't charge my patients during the play-offs.
, Professionalism report , All I did was ask about the weather!
Animals Responsibility , deer , The Buck Stops Here NO CAPTION
Marriage Psychiatry , couch , My wife gave me this list of character flaws she wants you to fix.
Training Productivity Training , Potty , I wish they wouldn't send us on every skill development course that comes along.
Doctors Health Lawyers , hospital , The doctor says you'll be fine, but our lawyer wants a second opinion.
Animals Recognition , Top Sirloin the Month , Top Sirloin of the Month NO CAPTION
Quality Restaurants , lobster , How much more do you want it cooked?
Technology Television , Professionalism computer , How did you get 'Days of Our Lives' on your computer?
Productivity , Out Professionalism , Does this company have an incentive program?
Ethics Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel , I didn't lie - I went to Harvard for my nephew's graduation.
Innovation , airplane , Cousin Leroy Wright gets little credit for creating the inflight meal.
Productivity , , In Out Ignore NO CAPTION
Competency Productivity , , We're not saying you're lazy ... just motivationally challenged.
Effectiveness Quality , barber , Your regular barber was let go for 'gross incompetence.'
Health Miscellaneous , elderly nurse , He's talking 'bout his g-g-g-g-generation.
Marketing Sales , Diaper , I'm afraid the market is completely saturated.
Competency Technology , notes , Forget e-mail ... he still hasn't grasped sticky notes.
Quality Restaurants Service , House Crab Special , What did you expect - seafood?!
Sales , casket , Frank's Mortuary 30 Day Free Trial NO CAPTION
Unemployment Unemployment , Office Registration , Sheesh, I didn't do this much work when I had a job!
Communications , Your Fly Open Professionalism , Bob unwittingly shares his colleague's strategic advice.
Maintenance Innovation , Pest Control , If this doesn't work, we'll charge 'em rent.
Initiative Effectiveness , Dining Room Closet Living Room Kitchen Bed Room , We don't need movers - just $3,200 in postage stamps!
Animals Initiative , monkeys , ... now get out there and network!
Animals Marketing Service , children , It's the ice cream man!
Animals Safety , chicken , Why, Harold?! Why, why, why ...
Effectiveness Technology , air dryer , Instructions 1 Turn Dryer On 2 Rub Hands Vigorously 3 Wipe Hands On Pants NO CAPTION
Death Travel , Hell , Most of us commute.
Resources , Human Professionalism , New here, huh?
Communications Reliability , Daily , It says here, 43% of people with freckles think newspaper polls are pointless.
Communications Technology , butler , You e-mailed me, sir?
Animals Change , cow , After a career in dairy, I can see you in packaging.
Quality Sales , Hair Clinic , We have two styles: ear-to-ear shag and outdoor rugs.
Doctors Health , Finance heart attack , If you want my opinion, he shouldn't have sold short.
Productivity Reliability , shadow , We're gonna miss Lumsden. He put in a lot of hours in this department.
Absenteeism Productivity Technology , ant , We haven't seen him since he discovered the 'Net.
Doctors Effectiveness , Baldness Surgical Treatment Available , You mean you wanted hair?!
Technology , computer , This is our first-generation computer nerd!
Death Technology , computer , It's worse than we thought - it's a total system failure.
Recognition , award , And, of course, I'd like to thank all the little people ...
Lawyers Psychiatry , couch , Mr. Griezic can't make it today, so I'm here to represent his interests.
Communications Technology , beating , E-mail and conference calls are okay, but they lack the impact of a personal meeting.
Quality Restaurants Service , waiter , I'm Justin, your waiter, and you'll be trying to get my attention for the rest of the evening.
Construction Effectiveness , pyramid , It took 36 years to drag this over here, and now you say I got the wrong one?!
Travel , Benefits bar , Hey, there's bar service!
Death Television , casket , We couldn't get it out of his hand.
Training construction , , I hear you've been taking a sensitivity training course.
Teamwork , , Teamwork NO CAPTION
Animals Entertainment , Car Wash , So, what do you city birds do for fun?
Ethics , Government Passport Office , For an extra $50, I can make you 18 again.
Effectiveness Managers , bull , I don't know about you, but I'm tired of this same old bull.
Training Productivity , , Parking Lot Attendant School NO CAPTION
Initiative Innovation , Moto 5000 , Put that away before somebody sees you.
Negotiations Religion Unions , demands , Okay, but the membership still has to ratify it.
Doctors Innovation , Creativity Dermatology , I can prescribe moisturizers, but you'd still make a terrific handbag.
Technology , puppet , Oh, you wanted a wireless remote ...
Death Lawyers , Smith Johnson Pteres Edward Norman Barken Berman Farmen Anderson Owens Artson Freeman Son Beckman Ben Moore Jones Shapiro Jackson , And we're particularly proud of our legal department.
Retail , Department , I'm looking for a leisure suit.
Resources Recruitment , Human dungeon , This isn't gonna look good on my resumŽ.
Recognition Sales , Benefits award , For outstanding sales in excess of $5 million, here's your free dinner for two at Denny's.
Innovation , Ajax Dictionary Publishers , We've got all these words! If only we could put them in some kind of order ...
Effectiveness Training , Ace Driving School , Say, these bumpers don't work very well.
Reliability Safety Stress , Crossing Guard , After 30 years on the job, Lester finally snaps.
Motivation , acrobat , Some days I dream of quitting the circus and joining the rat race.
Banks , Mortgages , What d'ya mean you're gonna foreclose?
Animals Awareness , cow , Do you consider yourself to be a white cow with black spots, or a black cow with white spots?
, Discipline alligator , Now that you mention it, they did warn me I'd be swamped when I got back.
Animals Courtesy , bear reception telephone , They just stepped out for a second ... can I take a message?
Competency Travel , astronauts , Mission Control accidentally sent your luggage to Pluto.
Religion Unemployment Unemployment , Benefits , I prayed for guidance, but was fired for going over my supervisor's head.
Crime Lawyers , Parker Criminal Lawyer , If you ask me, it's redundant.
Lawyers , , You mean, we get a royalty every time someone says it?
Leisure Persistence , fish , Optimist Club '95 NO CAPTION
Resources Unemployment , Human Personnel , It's not a layoff ... it's a workforce adjustment.
Service , , Complaints Complaints About Complaints NO CAPTION
Health Unions , , The union wishes you a speedy recovery, by a vote of 83 to 79.
Teamwork , hand , Williams, I'd like you to meet my right-hand man ...
Miscellaneous , Discipline alligator , I don't care if it is an ecosystem - the waterfall and reptiles have to go.
Animals Dentistry , beavers , Floss?
Resources Unemployment , Human Our Planet Your Company , The first thing we usually do in a company takeover is down-size.
Science , car , Dr. Shlombeck finally understands the relationship between time and space.
Quality Restaurants , Special , When not to order the catch of the day.
Initiative Productivity , flowers , They don't want our opinions - we're just supposed to sit here and look pretty.
Initiative Innovation , chair , Every now and then, an ingenious employee finds a way to stand out from the crowd.
Animals Entertainment Recognition , car , Rocky finally gets his 15 seconds of fame.
Bureaucracy , contractors , Our contractors contracted to contractors who contracted with us to do the job.
Communications , , Suggestion Box Try Therapy NO CAPTION
Evolution Initiative Innovation , Gorak Wheels Since Day One , That's not how we do things here.
Effectiveness Planning , Plan , It's taken 7 years, but I think we finally have a draft we can work with.
Productivity , Packit Sardine Company , Is there room for one more?
Effectiveness , diet , I don't think this company needs to trim the fat - it just needs more fiber.
Unemployment , discipline , You're only being suspended - it's not like being fired or anything.
Teamwork , job description , The way I see it - your job is to make me look good, and mine is to make it seem worthwhile.
Doctors Education , correspondence course , I saw the ad on TV and they sent me everything I needed to learn.
Animals , Holidays cow , I'm going on vacation ... will you cover for me?
Education Ethics , ABCDEF teacher teaching , We don't believe in hitting students ... they may be armed.
Health , exercise , How can you sink a rowing machine?!
, For Sale Real Estate , D'ya have any other survival skills?
Competency , Professionalism , C'mon, Gary, I know you have the boss's ear ...
Animals Technology , bell , She thinks she's important just because she wears a pager.
Unemployment , Notice , Don't take it personally ... we're just doing what's best for the company.
Leisure Persistence Safety Sports , alligator golf , This time take the penalty.
Science , mice , I've got these scientists wrapped around my finger ... whenever I want food, I just ring this bell.
Effectiveness , Real Estate house , I didn't want the overhead.
Death Managers , casket , Right to the end, we're still trying to kiss-up to him ...
Banks , Business Loans , It's a good business plan, but you put all your faith in the Tooth Fairy.
Unemployment , Discipline cooking , At the last place I worked, if you screwed up they just fired you.
Managers , Keep Nose Clean , The secret to middle management success.
Leadership Marriage Religion , President CEO , By the authority vested in me by the Board of Directors ....
Animals Competency , Holidays christmas , He still has trouble with re-entry.
Animals Entertainment , hippopotamus , You're the one who wanted to be in show business.
Animals Managers , bird , Sure, he repeats only what they tell him ... he wouldn't be in management if he didn't.
Teamwork , Professionalism spot light , It's getting harder to deal with his ego.
Safety , knife , I told you not to turn your back on the audience.
Education , Clown School , And now I'd like to present Marvin, our class straight-man.
Courtesy Ethics , nose , It keeps getting caught in other people's business.
Accounting , cloud , Accounting says it'll be with me for the rest of the fiscal year.
Communications Technology , cubicle , Why don't you reply to my e-mail?
Death Doctors Lawyers , Brown Fritz Was Not Responsible For THis , There was an out-of-court settlement.
Technology , chair , It's a coffee warmer I picked up from the government surplus store.
Communications Technology , Wilson Wears Rug , ... and I hope by now you're all aware of our company policy about using e-mail to spread office gossip.
Effectiveness Planning Productivity Technology , Professionalism Some Day Postpone Meetings Extend Deadlines Fake Sick Blame Bob , You were right, sir - I needed a work plan.
Courtesy , gossip , You can come back in now ... we're finished talking about you.
Animals Farming , cow , On high tech farms, they call this downloading.
Retail , Wear , Do you have anything that goes with this tie?
Courtesy Technology , computer , The computer says I have bad breath.
Effectiveness Productivity , , Urgent Very Urgent It's Too Late NO CAPTION
Resources , Human galley , It's cheaper to hire locals.
Doctors , Professionalism accident , If you want my professional opinion, use a number 8 screwdriver.
Philosophy Religion , children , What's 'agnostic'?
Effectiveness , Holidays christmas , We've reorganized.
Education , Report Card , You see, son, it's just that your grade reflects badly on us.
Sports Technology , boxer , The computer says you're a bum.
Animals Farming Initiative Innovation , Slow Med Fast , Finbeck's career at the dairy was cut short after the milk shake fiasco.
Training , galley , I hate these on-the-job training programs.
Death , RIP , It says here he leaves behind a company car, two secretaries and a six-figure income with stock options.
Construction , architect , I know we're on a tight budget, but I think you've cut too many corners.
Safety , Binko Explosives , All those in favor of a no-smoking policy ...
Entertainment Marriage , bathroom , I don't care how good it sounds - I'm not recording your act in the shower!
Unemployment Resources Safety , Human , Wow! Fifty bucks just to tell some guy he's fired?
Science Technology Entertainment , clown school , Think of it Chuckles ... the moon!
Courtesy , Help , SAY PLEASE NO CAPTION
Animals Change Courtesy Ethics Responsibility , Eat , The first practical joke.
Awareness Change Technology , security , Watch what you say - this room may be bugged.
Change Education , Monopoly 101 , Of course, in the real world, there's no such thing as free parking.
Change Managers Recognition Unemployment , Farewell , And this slightly used paper clip is a token of our appreciation.
Change Effectiveness Technology , Stamp Licker , It's only until the postage meter is repaired.
Change Initiative , Government cave , I just invented the power company. Here's my bill.
Change Technology , computer , Actually, this is the first time I've used a computer dating service.
Change Competency Responsibility , computer games , He's not our best worker, but nobody can beat him at Galaxon.
Change Communications Persistence , accident , You obviously misunderstood. In any case, how long were you able to keep it to the grindstone?
Change Innovation Unions , Union Rep , It works like a scarecrow, but it keeps managers away.
Change Retail Sales , Bath Supplies , It's time to make a decision, Mr. Fryer. We're closing in five minutes.
Change Competency Managers , , Manager 1st Asst. Manager 2nd Asst. Manager Mail Room Clerk
Change Innovation Marketing , Stench Protection , It's a market opportunity that also solves our chemical waste problem.
Change Risk construction , , Sure, I'd like to start my own business ... but, frankly, I think it's too risky.
Change Marketing Quality , Creativity Diet Beer , Diet Beer $2.50 NO CAPTION
Animals Change Lawyers Leadership , sheep , The problem with you sheep is that you don't know when to trust your lawyer.
Change Pets Recognition , dog , You don't really know a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.
Change Effectiveness , Arntwell Furniture Manufacturing , Then it's agreed ... there's no room for further cuts in production.
Animals Change Initiative Philosophy , cows , Herd Free Thinkers NO CAPTION
Change Responsibility Retail , Stereo , Our warranty covers everything except parts and labor.
Change Health Innovation , Prescription Drugs , It has time-released pain-killers, so you'll never have another headache.
Change Motivation Responsibility , ladder , ... then he asked if I was ready to climb the corporate ladder.
Change Service , , Complaints Department Over 64893 Served NO CAPTION
Change Resources Unemployment , Human Fired , I'm not worried ... that little weasel doesn't have the guts to fire me!
Change Sales Technology sales , man , Our video montoring system lets you avoid annoying sales calls!
Change Evolution Planning , Belton Iron Works and Fried Chicken , I think it's time we reviewed our corporate strategy.
Maintenance Crime Crime , Organized Unit , That's right ... last night someone broke in, put away files and emptied the garbage!
Insurance , lifeboat , Let me take another look at that life insurance policy.
Competency Planning , Astronauts , I thought you had the keys?!
Quality Restaurants , Specials Fender Stew Bumper Burger Grilled Pigeon Black Top Pate , I got the idea driving home last night.
Advertising Change , cavemen , Reward Missing Link NO CAPTION
Change Responsibility Service , Dancing Morandas , Well, we found your suitcase. And is our face red.
Change Education , Career Day , My dad is a lecherer at the University.
Change Communications Education Effectiveness , flags , Where did you say you got your communications degree?
Change Philosophy , labor , Why do people who work sitting down make more money than those standing up?
Banks Change , Professionalism , It's very pretty, but I was hoping you would take my loan application more seriously.
Absenteeism Change Leisure Responsibility , Gone Work , Gone To Work NO CAPTION
Change Marketing Persistence Sales , gas pump , Just two more gallons and we get a free set of steak knives.
Change Competency Stress , dummy , When I told him we missed the deadline, he became unglued.
Awareness Change Lawyers , Professionalism contract , What small print? All our fees are clearly stated in this contract.
Change Doctors Health Psychiatry , padding , Well, Doc, today you're supposed to tell me what my problem is.
Change Maintenance , Furniture Repair , Honey, do we have any elbow grease?
Change Technology , Creativity cubicle , I've always wanted an office with a view.
Change Technology , Professionalism joke , Well, all right ... if you think it's art.
Change Innovation Reliability Service , Library , No excuses. It's overdue ... now, hand over the coconuts!
Change Innovation Restaurants , cannibal , You know, with some lemon and a few peppers, we could be quite delicious.
Change Safety Teamwork Technology , detector , Okay, dig here ... I think we found another quarter.
Change Competency Recognition , , We value underlings like you, Grimsby, because they know their place.
Change Technology , computer , This high-performance computer has only one crucial flaw ...
Change Resources , Human , Sorry, Brimswell, you've been traded to Accounting for three calculators and a fax machine.
Change Competency Quality , 1994 Holidays , Thanks to Finstead here - Christmas will now be on June 8th.
Accounting Change Recognition Recruitment , Resume , Geez, I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for accounting.
Change Resources Productivity , Human maze , This floor plan is favored by 96% of the labaratory rats tested.
Change Persistence , Fake Vomit Novelty Manufacturing , After 25 years, this stuff still cracks me up.
Effectiveness , car , Snow-ploughing NO CAPTION
Banks Crime , Teller , I told you we shouldn't have come during lunch hour.
Unemployment , Florist , Hey, Mom, Dad's been fired again!
Technology , cell phone , I dropped my new cellular phone.
Change Initiative , Creativity Liberation Army Choir , It's for a good cause.
Change Innovation Marketing , , Bungee Jump Group Rates NO CAPTION
Change Philosophy Restaurants , diner , -Meaning of Life $2.95 -Why We Are Here $4.95 -The Whole Enchilada $7.99 NO CAPTION
Animals Change Effectiveness Ethics Leisure , Ammo , This should make it more sporting.
Change Crime , cell , No matter how cold it is outside, never go into a liquor store wearing a ski mask.
Maintenance Banks Change Service Technology , Amco , Don't chat with the customers - it scares them.
Change Marketing Television , Real , I hope Lou's Liquor Store gets hit again. Last night's ratings sky-rocketed.
Change Lawyers Marriage , bride , And the first party of the first part, herein known as Cathy ...
Change Psychiatry Television , ledge , But you'll miss 'Seinfeld' tonight!
Change Death , cemetary , I Don't Deserve This. NO CAPTION
Change Lawyers , car , Caution Lawyer On Board NO CAPTION
Change Productivity Technology , automation , I'm telling you, Grimsby, technology is changing the way people work.
Banks Change Crime , Teller , Do you have an account with us?
Change Unemployment , Jobs , There's nothing wrong with unemployment that a lot of money couldn't fix.
Change Death Death Insurance , Benefits , I can assure you, we've never had a complaint.
Change Teamwork , Team Player Professionalism , In other words, smile while you're being screwed.
Change Health Quality Restaurants Safety , Emergency , He forgot to pay the bill!
Animals Change Resources , Human , One extra large guy, no onions.
Change Unemployment , Lay Off Notice , Congratulations, Mr. Rouse, you're now a free agent!
Change Competency Leisure Sports , boat , Wow! Cool earrings, Dad.
Change Technology Unions , computer , The network is down and my computer keeps saying 'union, union, union'!
Change Quality Service Travel , airline food , And for your personal comfort and safety, we recommend you do not eat our in-flight meal.
Change Motivation , Minutes Retirement , Is it me, or does the day seem to drag on forever?
Change Managers Training , Analysis , Another management survival training course. NO CAPTION
Change Quality Safety Sports , sky diver , Parachute Life-Time Warranty NO CAPTION
Change Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel , You misspelled graduate.
Death Doctors Health Persistence , cemetary , I Want a Second Opinion NO CAPTION
Evolution , Finance , Why is our financial forecast written in Japanese?
Health Safety , airplane , Whoa! Whatever you do, don't eat the in-flight meal.
Retail Sales Retail Sales , Save Save , I'm sorry, but your card won't accept any more savings.
Effectiveness Travel , accident , Glen's Wine Tasting Bicycle Tour Napa Valley NO CAPTION
Innovation , airplane , Powdered Water NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Planning , , 9:00 A.M. Earn Easy Money 10:00 A.M. Fast-Track Companies 12:00 P.M. Bankruptcy Made Simple NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Service , complaint department , Complain Here $1.00 NO CAPTION
Banks Crime Technology , Automatic Teller , I don't think it heard you ... say it louder.
Technology Television , remote control , Oh, wow - another episode of 'Three's Company'!
Awareness Crime Leadership , convict , So, you went to Harvard and learned to delegate authority, then what happened?
Crime Resources , Human Personnel , I need a leave of absence.
Change Managers , dinosaur , Age of Empowerment Last Known Middle Manager NO CAPTION
Banks Technology , , Your account must be overdrawn.
Change Unemployment , Bar Grill , I empowered my employees, and then they laid me off because I was redundant.
Evolution Lawyers , Law the Jungle , Just before lunch, Marvin learns about the process of natural selection.
Communications Technology , computer network , We have the technology to communicate with anyone, anywhere ... but I have nothing to say.
Accounting Crime Accounting Responsibility , Morrow Tax , Let me assure you, sir, I will personally seek out the calculator responsible for those errors.
Animals Doctors Health , chiroprator , My chiropractor says I should find a branch that's more ergonomically correct.
Awareness , Creativity Bobbitt Sexual Harassment Coordinator , She doesn't really work here, but it's one heck of a deterrent.
Lawyers Marriage , , I'm not here to rescue you, Mr. Harris - I'm your wife's attorney.
Advertising Television , commercials , It must be one of those infomercials.
Accounting Awareness , For Sale Used Corporate Jet Dave Mail Room , If there was an embezzler here, I'd know about it.
Motivation , Professionalism , Get out there and improve morale - or you're fired!
Bureaucracy Effectiveness Managers Productivity Reliability , , Sure, we're overmanaged, but we can't afford to make mistakes.
Communications Technology , egypt , It says, 'For a good time, call Cleo.'
Retail Sales , animal , The guy at the pet store says it's warmer than a fur hat.
Teamwork animals , Professionalism , Maybe you didn't notice, kid, but we have a dress code here.
Religion , animal , Stop this sacred cow stuff before it affects the entire herd.
Banks , Loan Manager , Exactly how much do you need?
Crime Service , check , Well, okay, but I need three pieces of identification.
Animals Health Marriage Pets , bed , You whistle when you snore.
Innovation Marketing , laundry , Wash & Wave Pool Laundry NO CAPTION
Competency Safety , execution , ... a bit more to the left!
Advertising , Fresh From Alaska Frozen Orange Juice , Never over-estimate the intelligence of the consumer, Bizwell.
Animals Effectiveness Farming , sheep , It happens every time he takes inventory.
Recognition , The 2nd Executive Associate Managing , I'd rather have the raise.
Animals Ethics , lobster , Geez, do they always turn white like that?!
Marketing , Fertilizer Bull Shit Professionalism , It's people like you who give this business a bad name!
Accounting , children , How did a cute little tax deduction turn into a major liability?
Effectiveness Quality , Ace Condom Company Manufacturing , Let's not panic - this may be just a coincidence.
Accounting , Finance Government Harps for Rent , We've been told to balance the budget.
Travel Religion Sales Travel , , Okay, now let me get this straight - it's a last-minute sell-off and no singles allowed.
Awareness Science , aliens , I didn't see nothin'. Did you?
Change Health Marketing Service , Spa , We wanted to improve our image.
Ethics Health Lawyers , Attorney , Good news ... I've negotiated a settlement that should cover your legal fees.
Courtesy Persistence Sales , bath tub , Your doorbell must be broken.
Maintenance Managers Safety , Manufacturing accident , Hey Bob, there's another manager caught in the machinery.
Productivity Restaurants , lamp , ... and you want that with double cheese?
Recruitment Responsibility , Help Wanted Professionalism , Do you have flexible hours? I don't usually get up before noon.
Leadership Training , Moses , I hate these leadership seminars.
Crime Education Lawyers , children , It's from Joey. He'll be in law school another 3 to 5 years.
Lawyers Marriage , bride , We wanted our lawyers to cut the cake.
Marriage Retail , Rings , Do you have anything I can rent?
Health , Admissions Benefits , I'm sorry, Mr. Finlay, your medical plan doesn't cover everything.
Health Initiative , Discipline joint , This isn't the drug testing program I had in mind.
Animals Negotiations Unions , cow , I know the herd follows you, Bessy, but I doubt they're ready to strike.
Advertising Marketing Persistence Sales , bottle , We must be on a mailing list.
Competency Negotiations Negotiations Unions , Luggage Union , Uh, it seems we lost our list of demands.
Entertainment Restaurants , Special Rush Limbaugh Sandwich , It's just a lot of bologna with a slice of ham.
Risk Travel Travel , Agency , I know it's a bargain, but going south in the off-season goes against my better instincts.
Change Training Technology Training , Computer for the Technically Challenged , It's OK, Jim ... anyone could put a sandwich in the disk drive.
Salary , Benefits canon , It's not that bad ... I get salary, plus mileage.
Resources Recognition , Discipline Human success , My classmates voted me 'Most Likely to Fire Someone'!
Courtesy Persistence , dentures , Who keeps chewing on these pencils?!
Ethics Retail Sales , Off , We rip off our suppliers and pass the savings onto you!
Persistence , Professionalism collections , Don't give up, Henry - these bill collectors let go eventually.
Bureaucracy Effectiveness Resources Resources , Human Human , I'm telling you, this ship is dangerously top-heavy.
Managers Training , Management Coaching , Now that you established authority, listen to what he says with genuine interest.
Awareness Miscellaneous , angels , Man, those guys on Cloud Nine have all the fun.
Managers Science , , I know it's unbelievable ... but this is the actual DNA code found in people with management potential!
Crime Ethics , Government money , I'm sorry, sir, but $5,000 to bribe a city official is illegal, immoral and totally inadequate.
Competency , notes , Where should I put the really important messages?
Education Travel , Basic Instincts , If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck ...
Animals Ethics Lawyers , Law Office , It just says that if I fail to win your case, I get first rights to your ribs and loin.
Competency Lawyers , execution , Uh, there's still the small matter of my fee ...
Competency Sales , Scratch Dent Sale , Excuse me, Mr. Harris, I don't think you've grasped the concept here.
Innovation Reliability , Instant Baby Sitter Deposit Here , Maybe we should ask for references.
Banks Technology , Loans , With this little gizmo, we don't need collateral.
Leisure Technology , Out Order , Damn, I hate camping.
Education , Finance children , Money isn't everything, son ... there's also stocks, bonds and real estate.
Effectiveness Leisure Sports , Fishing Supplies fishing , ... of course, this is for real fishermen.
Doctors Health Psychiatry , , Pay your bill, pay your bill ...
Education Science , Discipline Office , I don't think we're here to be congratulated on my science project.
Quality , egypt , Damn spare!
Marketing , Free Advice With Every , I don't think people go for these promotional gimmicks anymore.
Accounting Lawyers , Government Tax Audits , I know you pay him a lot of money, but you can't claim your lawyer as a dependent.
Crime Crime Effectiveness Productivity , Earnings , As you can see, crime doesn't pay anymore ... so nobody should quit their day job.
Unions , chickens , Remember, kid, I've got seniority.
Miscellaneous , computer geek , Would you like to interface a few bytes while downloading a coffee?
Farming Motivation , Chicken the Month , Frankly, I didn't think they'd go for this performance incentive stuff.
Quality Restaurants , Special hot Curry Sandwich , It's standard procedure.
Health Effectiveness , acupuncture , That's remarkable, sir ... and your arthritis is cured too?
Effectiveness Innovation Technology , Home Security Systems , This is our least expensive model.
Negotiations Pets , binoculars , He wants a large screen TV.
Unions Negotiations , Pink , I still think they're bluffing.
Restaurants , Cheeseburger , You wanna try our fries?
, For Sale Real Estate , Location is everything.
Risk Unions , Ban the , You know, this could cost us our jobs.
, Discipline dungeon , Suspended with pay ... how about you?
Resources , Human Professionalism executioner , Meet our new Director of Personnel.
Managers , scientist , To his horror, Dr. Jekyll realizes he has turned himself into a manager.
Lawyers , fish , As your lawyer, I must insist that you avoid any action that may prevent you from paying your legal bills.
Animals Innovation Responsibility , farm , Bill collectors - it throws them off the scent.
Competency Maintenance , How , Maybe the bookstore will refund your money.
Lawyers , sentence , I think you presented my case well ... particularly all that stuff about fair and equal treatment.
Competency , , You Should Be Here NO CAPTION
Communications , puppets , He tends to over-simplify.
, Old Club Professionalism , Say, let's give Henderson a wedgie.
Quality Restaurants , , Special Fillet of Sole NO CAPTION
Competency Doctors , hospital , OK, nobody panic. Nurse, hand me a scalpel, a really long spoon and some chocolate sprinkles.
Lawyers , Patents Trademarks , I want to protect my intellectual property.
Reliability Sales , Shady Office Equipment , Sure, we guarantee our products ... but we need cash up front.
Lawyers , court , Geez, I hate tax law.
Animals Doctors Health , gun , It doesn't look good.
Effectiveness Managers , , I'll never understand why the largest desks have the least amount of paperwork on them.
Maintenance Service , Plumbing , ... and how much do they have in their pension plan?
Sales , Acme Signs , It sort of sells itself - doesn't it?
Communications Religion , monastery , Yeoow NO CAPTION
Evolution , beavers , I don't like it either, but we've got to evolve as a species.
Resources Recruitment , Human Post Office , I'm here to apply for the job.
Accounting Crime Lawyers , court , My client has left for Brazil on urgent business, but promises to return soon to clear his name.
Lawyers , Real Estate , Damn lawyers.
Banks Lawyers Motivation Negotiations , diving , I just don't have the stomach for corporate raiding.
Animals Resources Negotiations Salary Unions , Human , Early trade unionists suffer minor setbacks.
Courtesy Animals , elephants , Suddenly, Ernie realized his elephant jokes were offensive.
advertising animals farming , McGregor Farms Discount Beef , I don't think the old guy appreciates our value to this organization.
Innovation , , It's for the executive on the go.
Sports , Finance Home Visitor , Your contract is trading three points higher than yesterday.
Courtesy Crime , break and enter , She wants us to wipe our feet.
Animals Innovation , Pay Rent Here , This is no ordinary cat.
Education , college , ... but this is a warranty for a toaster.
Resources Recruitment , Human Interviews , Last year, I was called back 12 times, but didn't get the job because I looked desperate.
Managers , The Boss , Artificial Intelligence.
Responsibility Travel , Camel Rental , Did you remember to fill it up?
Change , ballet , I don't think this change in corporate culture is gonna pay-off.
Resources Recruitment , Android Robotics Corporation Human , Do you have any experience working with people?
Evolution , Acme Sharp Sticks , Man evolves despite his intelligence.
Bureaucracy , Government That Way Street , And after several public meetings, it went to committee ...
Communications Courtesy , Merger Information , Merger Information 1-800-YR-FIRED NO CAPTION
Competency Technology , Employee , I don't think we should say anything.
Animals Training , Security Camera security , All that training for a lousy desk job.
Effectiveness Lawyers , Andrews Shapiro Cohen , Don't worry, I do my best work in the last minute.
Death Technology , Bob the Computer , It's not really gone ... you still have its memory.
Death , Hell , I think we went too far.
Entertainment Television , , Next ... sexy scientists uncover the naked truth about the future of our species!
Resources Innovation , Human children , We don't have day care - so I hired them as summer students.
Innovation Leisure Sports , golf , There's a foursome at Fifth and 34th who want to play through.
Television , studio , Just be yourself.
Effectiveness Sales , Not Enter security , Frankly, this works just as well.
Sales Technology , remote control , ... the salesman said it was a universal remote.
Awareness Productivity , , Greg never got around to reading all of his memos on Friday.
Resources , Human birds , We have to let you go, Grimsby - you've got too much charm and charisma for this line of work.
Miscellaneous , Valentines Day flowers romance , I got flowers here for a Mr. Sugar Buns?
Insurance advertising leisure , This Sunrise Brought You Acme , Wow, I've finally escaped the commercial trappings of the city.
Change Change Psychiatry Change Change Psychiatry , Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Eating Disorders Hypnosis Extra Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Eating Disorders Hypnosis Extra , Murry's Drive Thru Analysis Depression $49 Personality Change $90 Eating Disorders $28 Hypnosis Extra NO CAPTION
Animals Maintenance , gun , ... on second thought, we don't really need an exterminator here.
Safety , Real Estate fire , We were having a mortgage burning party ...
Courtesy Safety , accident , He dashed out of cubicle four without signaling!
Miscellaneous , Taxi , Wow, this has to be some sort of record - a full day's shift and not one weirdo!
Crime Retail , cement shoes , We'll take 'em.
Leisure Sports , freeway golf , This explains the low membership fees.
Religion Salary , Seminary School Registration , I assume we get time-and-a-half for working Sundays.
Animals Television , Rod Reel , They've got to do something about all this violence on TV.
Animals Pets Psychiatry , Pavlov , ... and, I hear bells every time I eat.
Animals Farming , cow , Say, Frank, isn't that your cow that's wandered on the road?
Effectiveness Health , Employee Fitness Center , Pedal faster, Millwood - the lights are dimming.
Miscellaneous , clock , So, what's it like working out of your home?
Miscellaneous Safety , guns , If pigs could fly ...
Effectiveness Technology , Gate , Microwave is more efficient.
Communications , arrow , There's no message attached to this one, Sir.
Animals Farming , Suggestion Box , I still don't think he'll give us business cards.
Philosophy Service , advice , Okay, for the last time - waiters get 15%, bellmen get a dollar per bag ...
Entertainment , children , I thought you said you had a home theater system.
Ethics , Out Business Made Enough Money , Why socially conscious businesses never last.
Courtesy , , If that really was a whoopee cushion, let's see it.
Leisure Sports Stress , golf , Maybe you should find another activity to help you unwind.
Stress , violence , -Call Accountant -Meet Sales Team -FREAK OUT -Go To Lunch NO CAPTION
Negotiations Unions , Respect , See if they'll settle for acknowledgement.
Health Travel , Tour Guide , It says here, you should be drinking bottled water.
Animals Farming Unions , farm , OK, who's handing out the union fliers?
Managers , Potter , He's been taking a crisis management course.
Quality , gun , ... commitment to quality ... commitment to quality ...
Doctors , hospital , It's a simple operation, but we prefer payment in advance.
, Professionalism substitute , Ms. Harris is away today, and I'll be filling in as your supervisor ...
Marketing Sales , , Let me guess - you're gonna save me a bundle on long-distance calling.
Animals Farming Planning , cow , Despite a detailed escape plan, Gertie finds herself up the proverbial creek.
Animals Planning , Creativity decoy , Wait a minute, fellas ... this could be a decoy!
Animals Farming Resources , Human cows , Temps.
, Benefits Manufacturing assembly line , And they're gonna install a smorgasbord buffet in the cafeteria.
Animals Leisure , cow , Settle down, Slim. You knew we were playing for big steaks.
Marketing Sales , Hot Sauce , After discussing the weather, Hank strikes a trade deal with tourists from Venus - a planet where temperatures reach 890ˇ in the shade.
Productivity , City Dog Catcher , We can fill our quota in less than an hour.
Marketing Technology , Product Research , I think we can market it as a solar- powered clock.
Service Service , Express Courier Customer , It contains 68 million excuses.
Doctors Evolution Health , Chiropractor , I'll need to see you and your offspring for the next two million years.
Courtesy Planning , coffee , Next time, let's meet for coffee in your office.
Animals Health , cow , Don't take it personally - a lot of people are lactose intolerant.
Resources Recruitment , Human hunters , Say, what kind of headhunting firm is this?
Persistence , , No one has worked harder for this promotion than you, Steeves.
Communications Planning , Moses , Geez, not another mission statement.
Psychiatry , couch , I don't mind having multiple personalities - the problem is I hate crowds.
Recognition , napolean , He's been like this since he got his promotion.
Quality Restaurants , chef , Of course they're 100% pure beef - it's a condition of my parole.
Managers Recognition , Manager , Yes, Morris, I heard about your promotion.
Safety , 365 Accident Free Days , Say, didn't you fall like this last year?
Death Religion Sales , funeral , Don't ask me why these things happen - I'm in sales, not management.
Absenteeism Productivity Responsibility , , Sorry, Frank, but we're cracking down on people who leave work early.
Marketing Retail , Genius , Say, do these things really work?!
Quality Restaurants , Special , Too salty? A lot of sweat and tears went into making this!
Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel , I can start next week, if I don't find anything better.
Animals Evolution Persistence Pets , Manufacturing Rex Industries , It all started with a few bones and a pair of slippers ...
Marketing Retail Safety , Pepper Spray security , We also carry orange, wild cherry and wintergreen mint.
Restaurants Service , toilet paper , We're out of napkins.
Managers , Zone , So, what's it like being the only man on our management team?
Persistence Initiative , jeep , I mailed home an army jeep piece by piece. Did you bring back anything?
Technology Innovation Effectiveness , cart , I got one with A.B.S. brakes!
Productivity Animals , chickens , They work in tiny little cubicles, and if they don't produce they get the ax!
Crime , car , Hey, somebody stole my parking space!
Service Travel , airplane , May I see your boarding pass?
Animals Philosophy , binoculars , Hey, fellas, the grass does look greener on the other side.
Training , cavemen , Trainees.
Salary Unemployment death , penalty , Never ask about the severance pay.
Competency Retail Sales , , 1001 Sales Tips NO CAPTION
Crime Service , muggers , And would you say our service was courteous and friendly?
Lawyers , bird , I know it's a parrot - but he's the only witness who hasn't sold his story to Hard Copy.
Banks Crime , bank , Put the money in the bag, or the kid starts playing.
Restaurants Service , Chez Noodle , We'd like a table near a waiter.
Sales Quality Sales , Auto , Wheels are an option.
Animals Productivity Psychiatry , analysis , No matter what I do, I still only produce 2%.
Marketing Travel , Hell , I don't see why it's a bust - we have everything cruise ships have to offer.
Safety , air bag , Next time, let's get a car with a passenger-side air bag.
Animals Ethics Farming , Pure Beef Hamburgers , What conflict of interest?! I work here in my spare time.
Crime , copyright theft , Trust me - just tell the boys it was a felony but don't mention the part about the F.B.I. and video taping 'Gone With The Wind.'
Health , cigarette , Yeah, but I'm down to one pack a day.
Resources Managers , Human Personnel , Well, frankly ... it's your attitude.
Technology , bomb , Geez, I've never seen a computer bomb like that!
Health , Benefits smokers , Uh, no, that's the employees' smoking lounge.
Bureaucracy , Everyone Else , The first organization chart.
Animals Farming , Holidays November Thanksgiving , Trust me, kid. Keep your mouth shut and let them sleep in.
Competency Doctors , doctor , Geez, Franklin, don't tell me you lost another one.
Courtesy , galley , You know, just once I wish he'd say please.
Animals Entertainment , antarctic , Geez, Thomas, don't you have anything but ice beer?
Crime Politics , gun , I just wanted you to sign this petition against gun control.
Training , Driving School , What about the rest of my lesson?!
Animals Farming Resources Recruitment , Human sheep , It sounds like a good offer, but I think I'll keep the job I have.
Animals Teamwork , dogs , Let's give him another lecture about teamwork.
Animals Lawyers Leisure , guns , Don't shoot, Fred. It looks like the moose got himself a lawyer.
Resources Salary , Holidays Human christmas , You can't expect happy little workers for this kind of money.
Competency Quality , barber , Slash - is that a nickname?
Marriage , Mattress Testing Laboratory Professionalism , My wife thinks I'm a workaholic.
Managers Technology , Auto Manager Praise Criticism Sympathy Promotion , If you don't like it, see the machine on the sixth floor.
Crime Religion , Beware God , We were robbed again last week.
Recognition , androids , He still thinks he can get promoted.
Resources Innovation , Human driver , I knew flexible hours wouldn't work.
Competency , baby , I assume you're not the primary care giver.
Leisure Motivation , fishing , They don't bite unless you use fifties.
Competency Effectiveness , barbarians , Let's get it right this time - booty means riches, not footwear!
Quality Travel , airplane , Wow! De-icing planes is just like luggage handling.
Quality , Body Piercing , It's not so bad when you look at it from this angle.
Effectiveness Productivity Technology , galley , D'ya ever get the feeling we're just going in circles?
Effectiveness Service Technology , answering machine , This is the Bibco Technical Support Line - for sympathy, press one ... for sob stories, press two ... for arguments, press three ...
Innovation Technology , Auto Snap , You don't even have to go on vacation - just put it on the tour bus and it takes its own pictures.
Resources Recognition , Human Milson You Are Idiot , Performance reviews are much more effective this way.
, Holidays Real Estate children , Real estate!
Negotiations Religion , bible , They counter-offered with 10 suggestions and want a guarantee on the promised land thing.
Sports Sports Television , Channel , Tonight's scores - owners $48 million, players $32 million.
Leadership , Holidays Santa , I'm just a figurehead - the real business is in Taiwan.
Courtesy Travel , birds , It's the damn paparazzi again.
Lawyers , Holidays court , Your Honor, this man unjustly characterized my client as being naughty.
Retail , Exchanges Holidays , Now I understand why the old guy runs the business from up here.
Marketing , MCI BELL SPRINT , I got a special deal from all of them.
Safety , photocopier , Say, do you have any suntan lotion?
Doctors Health Technology , doctor , No one is saying it's a computer virus, but we erased your hard drive just to be on the safe side.
Awareness Recruitment , Mounted Police , They told me I was gonna work Fraud.
Philosophy , Road Less Travelled , Road Less Travelled NO CAPTION
animals awareness ethics , Flock Wool Products professionalism , Hey, Frank, is that polyester you're wearing?
Change Death Planning , Funeral Services , Why yes, we do have something available next Thursday ...
Animals Change Persistence Teamwork Unions , International Snail Union Local 315 , This time we strike! Last year's slow-down was a bust.
Change Recognition , Happy New Year Holidays , And you thought they didn't care.
Change Initiative Motivation Persistence , jail , This is solitary confinement ... the kitchen is two blocks over.
Change Competency , Professionalism teddy bear , They liked my proposal, but suggested I leave Teddy at home.
Change Innovation Quality Sales , Dung Right Fertilizer , It's an all-new environmentally enriched organic food by-product that has revolutionized lawn care!
Change Effectiveness Health Psychiatry , Bill , This shock therapy really works!
Change Competency Resources Persistence , Human Test Pilots Apply Here , We're looking for someone with a little less experience.
Risk Safety Pets Awareness , Free Salmon Dinner , C'mon, Felix, aren't you just a little curious?
Change Leisure Marriage , caveman , Wow! A new set of clubs!
Awareness Change Managers Philosophy , , Remember, Aaron, inside every little problem, there's a bigger one waiting to get out.
Change Crime , children , Remember when kids played hopscotch and traded marbles?
Awareness Change Effectiveness Pets , dog , You know, we haven't had much luck since our firehouse dog ran away.
Change Negotiations Unions , Management , Well, we worked out the details. Now, if we can just agree on the main points ...
Animals Awareness Change Effectiveness Quality , Pest Control , Face it, Don. We're losers.
Communications Competency Ethics , Save the Planet , Geez! I'm all out of disposable paint cans.
Change Health Resources , Human , This is our paper cut clinic.
Animals Change Persistence , fish , Give it up. I'm the only one left, and I'm not biting!
Change Evolution , World Fish Cleaners , Quit complaining. Times are hard, and we've got to be versatile.
Change Initiative Innovation , Stan Twirl Ride , Bring her down now, Morty. She looks like she's going to hurl.
Animals Change Ethics Farming Psychiatry , bartender , No matter what I say, these farmers won't keep their hands off me.
Animals Change Pets Training , dogs , I'm not sure, but I think they want us to pee on this stuff.
Innovation Television Productivity , , You see, son, this way I can spend more time with you.
Change Competency , , He loves to hear the sound of his own voice.
Change Retail , Amazon Butchery , I hope this doesn't catch on.
Change Service Marketing Persistence , Fly Nite Courier , I hope business picks up soon. I'm tired of bird seed and pigeon stew.
Change Innovation Sales , Cold Beer , We don't get much business, but we always make a profit.
Change Managers Productivity , Benefits washroom , That's it! No more free coffee.
Change Innovation Negotiations , New York Stock Exchange , I'll trade my bologna for your tuna fish.
Productivity , Holidays beach , The kids want to know what's next on the agenda.
advertising awareness communications planning , lecture , Today's seminar is about advertising and promotion.
ethics resources , aliens human manufacturing , Alien workers? Absolutely not! They're, uhh, relatives visiting from Chicago.
Unemployment Unemployment Ethics , Benefits , Could you send it to me in the Bahamas?
leisure , Drinks Compliments Cheapo benefits plannning , The boss thought people would drink less if we had the company picnic in February.
Change Managers , Discipline Professionalism , For goodness' sake, Bently, get back to work. It's just a thunderstorm.
Animals Change Motivation Unemployment , Bar , I know, I know ... when you get the hoof, you have to grab the bull by the horns.
Change Health , Benefits Hell , Don't worry about it, kid. This is Hell. You don't have to go outside to smoke.
Change Marketing Sales , Real Estate Real Estate , ... and this spacious model is close to the water fountain.
Animals Change , dating , Things have changed since I was a pup. You can't just sniff and mate anymore.
Animals Change Effectiveness Innovation Technology , Fishfinder , Don't worry, Jimmy. If there's fish in this lake, we'll find them.
Awareness Change Death , execution , Last cigarette? They told me this was a taste test!
Change Farming Managers , Benefits cow , Say, I thought this was a management washroom.
Animals Change Miscellaneous , elevator elevator fragrance , Isn't it odd that we always get an elevator to ourselves?
Change Ethics , axe , I've got to find a job that's more politically correct.
Change Innovation Productivity Quality Technology , pencil sharpener , It's more powerful than conventional sharpeners.
Change Sales , For Sale Real Estate , Do you have anything in a pump?
Animals Awareness Change Effectiveness Pets , dogs , Hey, kid, I think your flea collar has expired.
Change Persistence , Creativity Discipline art , How many times do I have to tell you? ... Don't draw on the walls!
Change Sales , Snappy Snow Blower , I guess you're not interested in our lawn mowers either?
Change Resources Training , Human guns , Miss Spencer is here for her assertiveness training.
Change Competency Service Travel , boat , And it gets worse ... they lost my luggage too!
Change Ethics Insurance , Car Rental , I've changed my mind. I will take the insurance.
Change Education Responsibility , Finance Government , Hey, only three more months, and my student loan will be paid off.
Change Resources Technology Unemployment , Human dummy , I'm now fully automated with micro computer chips. So, you're fired!
Change Managers Motivation Persistence Teamwork , cavemen , Keep blowing, Grog. I don't want to chase lightning bolts all night.
Change Health Marketing Retail , Diet Corner Calorie Reduced , I don't see why we pay more for fewer calories.
Change Crime , Morewood Tree Farm , We've been robbed!
Change Education Ethics Lawyers , Office , My client refuses to answer on the grounds that he may incriminate me.
effectiveness productivity stress , Powers discipline , Sullivan, I won't tolerate any more job stress around here!
animals effectiveness leisure , boat , I'm telling ya, Dave ... the bigger the bait, the bigger the fish.
Competency Reliability , Kramer Mapmaking , There's Mr. Kramer lost in the parking lot again.
education resources recruitment education resources recruitment , The Clown Employment Agency human The Clown Employment Agency human , Sorry, guys, we hire only college graduates.
Change Marriage Motivation , Professionalism children , Wave goodbye, kids. We're the reason your mother goes to work every day.
Change Salary , high heeled shoes , This is my boss's idea of a raise.
Animals Change , Discipline Professionalism turtle , What did you expect? You hired a turtle!
Change Competency Leisure Teamwork , camera , Uh-oh, I had the lens cap on.
Change Marketing Planning Sales , All Watches Price , World Ends Next Week! All Watches 1/2 Price NO CAPTION
Advertising Change Death Marketing , Creativity Free Movie and Pizza with every Burial Professionalism , You said we should be more competitive.
Change Managers Responsibility Salary , , ... so, we agree on salary cuts for everyone except the members of this committee.
Animals Change Politics Recognition , dogs , I heard she had an affair with the Kennedys' dog.
Change Death Restaurants Service , Lunch Special , I just wanted a little soup, and maybe a roll.
Change Construction Effectiveness Quality , cliff , Construction Ends NO CAPTION
Advertising Change , fish , My card.
Change Education Initiative Science , Fossils Bones Tommy , Let's put a little more effort into this, Tommy.
Change Restaurants Safety Service , Pick Your Own Lobster only , Remember, Warren, the big ones don't taste as good.
Animals Change Crime Risk , cows , Then, I said, 'Why go to a big city when everything we need is right here in the pasture?' But, nooo ....
Change Managers , Conflict Professionalism chainsaw , Uh, not you, Bob ... I meant other people can't take criticism.
Change Safety , Discipline accident , We've had a few complaints, Gabe, that you've been flying through clouds without signaling.
Change Effectiveness Teamwork , Acme Garbage , Next time we cruise for babes, we'll take my car.
Animals Change Restaurants Safety , Frog Medical Center , Trust me, kid. Stay away from French restaurants.
Change Evolution Innovation , Benefits eskimo , I think it's great that you can work at home.
Change Recruitment Technology , army , Say, fellas, how would you like to join the Air Force?
Animals Change Farming Innovation , barn , It's a worker exchange program. The old guy is grazing in the back 40.
Change Quality Restaurants , , Today's Special Things I've Found Under My Couch NO CAPTION
Change Managers , Discipline Professionalism climber , You're Late NO CAPTION
Change Reliability Responsibility , frankenstein , It's always something ... mittens, boots, hats. I'm telling you, you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
Change Psychiatry Stress , armour , I don't get it, Doc. Ever since I started this job, I've had an overwhelming fear of can openers.
Change Marketing Reliability Safety , Ian , If your house burns down, we'll replace the defective unit absolutely free!
Competency Unemployment , , Things aren't working out, Edwards. Have you considered a job with our competition?
change innovation , children , Bobby, here, has some interesting ideas about simplifying requisitions for toys.
Retail Service , Chargex , Hey, Phil, do we take cash?
effectiveness leadership , , Feel free to come forward and honestly tell me what I want to hear.
animals health pets , dog , NO CAPTION
Safety construction , Holidays Professionalism , April Fools NO CAPTION
Courtesy Innovation , Professionalism hot dog , You know, there's a cafeteria downstairs.
Death , Discipline hell , I'm the guy who invented the chain letter.
Death Resources Recruitment , Human , Quick, somebody hire a temp.
Competency Productivity Unemployment , Fired , Why me? I didn't do anything.
Communications Competency Motivation , , What d'ya suppose it means?
Quality Restaurants Service , waitress , ... and for dessert, I personally recommend the chocolate brownies.
Teamwork , Conflict Creativity fighting , It's part of the creative process.
Quality Restaurants Service , fishing rod , The trout's fresh.
Death Managers , devil , If you want to survive down here, kid, you'll have to change that attitude.
Responsibility Safety , eskimos , I told you not to leave the space heater on all night.
, Conflict Professionalism saw , I guess this ends our roundtable discussion.
Absenteeism Animals Initiative , City Aquarium , Hurry, before they know we're missing.
Quality Service , VIP Desk , So, what makes you so damn special?
Crime Resources , Finance Human mugger , Say, we're looking for someone with your skills in our collections department.
Effectiveness Persistence , Brewery , Give it up, Frank. I don't think you'll ever find your contact lens.
Doctors Innovation , Optometrist , It will help you read between the lines.
Lawyers Negotiations , window ledge , He's right. The law says we have to negotiate in good faith.
Dentistry , Professionalism dentist , There are two ways to do this ... Do you have a dental plan?
Education Training , Daily , Trust me, kid, you don't get this kind of experience in journalism school.
Health Productivity , coffee , I'm not really awake until I've had 32 cups of coffee.
Animals Lawyers , Professionalism Taxidermist , I'm sorry, we don't stuff lawyers here.
Animals Planning Teamwork , aquarium , Okay, we're out. Now what?
Absenteeism Planning Reliability , , Time Management Seminar 10:00-Cancelled 10:15-Postponed 10:30-Re-Scheduled 10:45-Can't Make it 10:55-Something Came Up 11:00-I'll Call You. NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Safety , Airmail Express , Stop complaining. You're going first class.
Negotiations Sales , , I'll tell ya what ... buy the sound system and we'll throw in a roadie.
Leadership , Executive Masks , I need one that shows leadership and authority.
marriage training , Berts Carpentry , I think you're taking this apprenticeship thing too far!
courtesy service , heating , Okay, you made your point with the heating company, now call back and apologize.
innovation technology , Sale , It's a diet fridge ... It won't open until you lose 40 pounds.
animals farming managers , cow , I don't try to understand 'em, I just milk 'em.
Crime Ethics , Finance computer , If at first you don't succeed, embezzle.
Accounting Resources Recruitment , Finance Human , It says here, your other interests include cash, stocks, bonds and adding machines.
Animals Politics , affirmative action bartender , I've always been fair-minded, but this animal rights thing has gone too far.
Awareness Resources Managers , Human Suggestion Box , Of course we listen to employees, Spriggs, but you shouldn't take this stuff seriously.
Innovation Managers Miscellaneous , , It's called 'behavior modification' ... we can now give you instant feedback every time you make a mistake.
Persistence Safety , Real Estate shock therapy , We've had a few drive-bys, but no serious offers.
Resources , Human , Clearance C.E.O. President No Reasonable Offer Refused NO CAPTION
Animals Insurance Risk , Bull China Shop , I'm sure it won't be a problem ... you fellas look like a good risk to me.
, Conflict Discipline Stop , It seems you have a problem with authority figures.
Awareness Pets , aquarium , Will somebody turn down the damn air conditioner?!
Ethics Responsibility , chainsaw , We try to save something for the environment.
Crime Retail Service , Express Lane , Paper or plastic bags?
Effectiveness Innovation , , How much is it to fly nonstop?
Animals Technology Television , kangaroos , Wow! When did you get cable?
Resources Persistence , Human closet , How long have you been on the surplus list?
Effectiveness Health Service , hospital , We don't give sponge baths anymore. It's not time efficient.
Motivation Negotiations Unions , ants , If we were unionized, we wouldn't have to settle for crumbs.
Animals Resources Recruitment , Human Local Farmer Increases Production , Say, here's a place that might be hiring.
Animals , Conflict Discipline bartender , You folks settle your differences on the range. In here, we all drink from the same trough.
Marketing Risk Sales , Grand Opening , Nobody's punishing you, Frank. Just think of this as a marketing opportunity.
Competency Unions , Down With Management , It appears you misunderstood me when I asked you to organize this department.
Persistence Sales , Big Used Cars , Listen to your customers, Greenham. But don't take 'no' for an answer.
Ethics Sales , Microwave Price , C'mon, don't believe everything you see ... the door on this model was just for decoration.
Competency Safety , accident , Hey, didn't you see me signal?
Ethics Managers Unions , Professionalism trap door , C'mon in, Harvey. I found a way to settle this grievance.
Responsibility , Benefits , Some people think you're taking advantage of our family benefits.
recruitment religion , Express Elevator , C'mon, there's nothing up here except vegetarians, environmentalists and other do-gooders.
Animals Entertainment , camera , Okay, but make it fast. I'm expected on the set with Jacques Cousteau.
Effectiveness Technology , Hardware , My smoke detector needs new batteries.
animals farming planning , bed , Put this on your 'To Do List' - build a barn!
Competency Resources Recruitment , Human , We don't have time to find the best person for the job, so we'll promote you instead.
Service , barber haircut , I know this scam ... once you cut it, I have to keep coming back.
Resources Managers , Human garbage men , Hey look - a perfectly good manager!
Competency Science , experiment , If you learned from your mistakes, Carl, you'd be a genius.
Resources Teamwork , Human child , That's right, kid. This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Sales Retail Sales Technology , Fire , I suggest you start small ... you can always upgrade later.
Miscellaneous , , There are two types of people in this world ... those who generalize, and those who don't.
Motivation Technology Television , cable , Forget the escape, Merle ... we now have cable!
Effectiveness Persistence Sales , , ACME Concrete Sales NO CAPTION
Resources Unemployment , Human snow men , You mean, you didn't know this was a seasonal job?
, Creativity Government convicts , Try to think of this as a government job.
Awareness Entertainment , Friends the Criminally Insane , We're looking for a celebrity endorsement.
Recognition , awards , And I won this one for winning so many awards!
Teamwork , siamese twins , I don't think it's a good idea we go into business together.
Change Leadership Managers Motivation , Slave the Month , I trusted him more when he had a whip.
, Conflict Professionalism extortion , You're not getting my lunch money anymore.
Effectiveness Productivity , coffee , It's decaf, and no one could tell the difference.
Unions , cowboys , Your horse refuses to come out until he talks to a union representative.
Quality Restaurants Service , Econo Snack , I can put him in a sandwich, but it'll cost more.
Miscellaneous Risk , newspaper , It says here, you have a greater chance of being struck by lightning than winning the lottery.
Managers , Professionalism , It seems to me, Flemming, you have the skills we want on our management team.
Construction Initiative , bird house , Some of the guys in the flock think you're showing off.
Health , , What d'ya mean!? I got the four basic food groups here ... ice cream, chips, chocolate and soda.
Animals Farming , farmer , I'm okay ... see? Nothing's broken!
Resources Persistence , Days Without Bath Human , Funny thing, Dalton - your request for a transfer suddenly came through.
Managers Miscellaneous , head , I need this assignment like I need a hole in my head.
advertising , Wash creativity , It's cheaper than fliers.
Travel , Jane , Damn, I hate rush hour in this jungle. I've been waiting 20 minutes for a vine.
innovation , Reception professionalism , Another morning meeting with the inventor of the snooze button.
competency lawyers , Hatfield , I think the judge meant for you to sign a truce.
Awareness Effectiveness Television , Channel News , And this just in: The fire downtown is spreading to other buildings.
Innovation Marriage Teamwork , Benefits Morrison Industries Home Office , Hey, we just got a promotion. And we get a bigger bed.
Quality Reliability , Fly Nite Courier Professionalism , Yeah, yeah, the check is in the mail.
Ethics Initiative Teamwork , Professionalism accident , Work with me, will ya? ... This is front page material!
Animals Effectiveness Maintenance , Pest Control , This seems a little too easy.
Reliability Teamwork , cavemen , Say, how 'bout I get the vegetables.
Animals Competency Productivity Responsibility , monkey , Of course I have a monkey on my back, who d'ya think does all the work.
Doctors Ethics Responsibility , Acme School Medicine , Give 110% of yourself - but never give them the number of your country club.
Animals Marketing , Creativity camera , No, Felix, you have to act natural or the magazine won't buy it.
Change Innovation Managers , , Caution Management Resistance NO CAPTION
Ethics , Professionalism angel , It's not embezzlement! It's a career move.
Leisure Productivity , Fish , Give me three large bass ... and don't bother to wrap them.
Resources , Discipline Human Professionalism giant , Yeah, this time I told the secretarial pool to send me a real knock out.
Television Unions , News , In the local news ... employees at Buxley's Dry Cleaners are still on strike.
Resources Politics , Human , There is no sex discrimination here because we fired all the men.
Innovation Sales , Acme Paint Sprinkler , That's right - you can paint this room every day!
Health , cigarettes , How long have you been a member of Smoker's Anonymous?
Communications Competency , fire , Put Out Fire NO CAPTION
Quality Restaurants Service , waitress , The cook wants to know if you have any next of kin.
Retail , cents , Don't you have anything smaller?
Awareness Competency Crime , auto thieves , Hey look, Spriggs ... this moron left the keys in the car!
Doctors Health , Professionalism , I'm not sure ... what does it look like to you?
Marriage Television , remote control , ... now let's see what's on Oprah.
Religion , Government Toll Red Sea Transit Authority , You know, of course, there's a toll.
Restaurants , All You Can Eat Buffet , All You Can Eat Buffet NO CAPTION
Crime Negotiations , plea bargain , For a reduced fine, I'll give you the names of three speeders and a litter bug.
Crime Managers Responsibility crime , corporate , I'm not blaming you, Lewis. I'm delegating responsibility.
ethics quality service , Specializing Foreign Domestic Cars , If you specialize, you can charge more.
lawyers , court professionalism , What harassment?! I'm a wolf ... that's what I do!
Technology Change , caveman , Alan is a little resistant to new technology.
innovation service , painter , Is there anything you don't want white?
effectiveness innovation technology , Hearing Aid Research , Frankly, Milner, I think it's a step backward.
Persistence Television , fishing , Now see if you can catch the remote control.
Competency Doctors , doctor , Don't bother to thank me, I needed the practice.
Persistence Sales , Sale , The average sale occurs after the customer says no six times.
Absenteeism Stress Stress , Management , ... now let's see how you react to scenes of your employees leaving early.
Marketing , Professionalism roller blade , I'm not sure - maybe this is his analysis of the west coast market.
Responsibility , Finance children , Scotty, here, says you're three weeks behind on his allowance.
Service Technology , Alarm Clock Repair , Funny how it breaks every morning at 7:15.
Accounting , Finance hostage , Yes, sir, I believe we have our costs under control.
Accounting , Auditor Holidays , You gave away 60 billion toys and didn't get one receipt?!
Safety Technology , computer , Geez, I hope you're wearing rubber shoes.
Banks , Business Loans Finance , I need another $50.
Animals Initiative , Metro Zoo , Out For Lunch NO CAPTION
Technology Television , Carvell Repair , You don't see many of these old wood-burning models anymore.
Bureaucracy , Finance Government beach , Faulkner, here, got a government grant to study the effects of UV rays.
Crime Lawyers , Bankruptcy Court , You can't plead insanity.
Health Service , , Emergency Take a Number NO CAPTION
Animals Farming Philosophy , Save the Egg , They've joined the free-range movement.
Competency Teamwork , armored car , I thought you had the keys.
Absenteeism Leisure Marketing , golf , Your 10:00 marketing meeting was rained out.
Insurance Planning , fire , I need fire insurance, quick!
Entertainment Planning Quality , Movie Rentals , All I have left are videos of my kids at the beach.
Entertainment , Talent Agency Creativity , I just don't want to be type-cast.
Dentistry , alligator , Has it been six months already?
Quality Travel , Prehistoric Air , I hate these stop-overs.
Doctors Health , patient , According to our tests, you've got rigor mortis.
Courtesy , false teeth , Gesundheit.
bureaucracy , Research Lab government , We have a government grant to see if the light stays on when the door is closed.
persistence religion persistence religion , ark ark , What d'ya mean you never heard of a duck-billed McDermott?
psychiatry service , Welcome Soc